I'll never climb Mount Everest
to see what I can see.
I'll never be the President
by popular decree.
I'll never rule the jungle
with my trusted chimpanzee.
I'll never rustle cattle
with a friend named Tennessee.

I'll never work with Sherlock Holmes
to solve a tricky case.
I'll never fly a fighter jet
and be a flying ace.
I'll never run a marathon
and break the record pace.
I'll never ride a rocket ship
to float in outer space.

I'll never run away
to join the Legionnaires in France.
I'll never play on Broadway
as a master of the dance.
I'll never joust on horseback
with a helmet and a lance.
I'll never win a million
in a lucky game of chance.

I'll never woo a princess
in the hills of Katmandu.
I'll never win an Oscar
for my Hollywood debut.
My list is long of all the things
I know I'll never do
because I'd rather watch TV.
Is that how you are too?